Rewired (The Progress Series)

  Rewired

  The Third Book in the Progress Series

  By Amy Queau

  Contents

  Part I – Jesse

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Part II – Samuel

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Part III – Charlie

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Part IV – Charlie and Jesse

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Epilogue

  Acknowledgments

  I’m sick. Charlie thinks she can help me. Silly little girl.

  I know that no one is ready for what’s about to happen—especially me. And I don’t know where it will take me. But for now, she’s here. For now, she chooses me.

  Part I

  Jesse

  Chapter One

  Silence burned the inside of Jesse’s car. The whizzing of traffic and a muffled song on the radio weren’t enough to mask the desire they both felt for the need for words. Someone needed to speak. They were both equally shocked that Charlie had climbed into the passenger seat. She had accepted his offer and there they were, trying to figure out what was going to happen next.

  “You’re sick, Jess. And I don’t know if I can help you; I don’t even know if you want it. I may not be able to fully relate to you, and I know that no one has ever really tried. Probably because you’ve never let anyone get this close to the truth. But I’m going to try. I’m going to try like hell to make this right for you, because I care. I adore you, Jess, you know that.” Her tone teetered between annoyance and adoration. “But also because I’ve given up my ‘happily ever after’ to make this right. I walked away from my future, for you. The man I was going to spend the rest of my life with is now standing—alone—in a parking lot, holding my coat in his arms, wondering where I am. So all I’m going to say is that you better be ready for this. Because this is going to be a ride to hell and back.” Glancing at him sideways briefly, she tossed her cigarette butt out the window. “It might just be the second hardest thing you’ll ever endure in your lifetime.”

  The second?

  Jess swallowed. “What was the first?” His eyelids drooped and his leg began to tremble.

  “Having to go through it the first time,” she said, expressionless while lighting another cigarette.

  Jess huffed. “What are you talking about?”

  “You, Jess. Your past, your scars, your parents, all of it.”

  He rubbed the back of his neck, and there was an edge to his laughter. “And what if I say fuck you?”

  “You won’t.” She laughed and set her hands in her lap. The space between them instantly grew unbearably warm. “But if that’s how you feel, then you can turn the car around and drop me back off at the party. We can say our goodbyes there.”

  No! No. I’ve gotten you this far. I’m not taking you back there; back to him. From now on you’re not going anywhere without me. You’ve chosen me.

  Holy shit. You’ve chosen me.

  He shook his head, unsure of this revelation. Quit asking yourself why. “No. But you forget I’m still a resident in your building, Charlie. I’ve signed a six month lease. You can’t get rid of me that easily.” It will be different this time; you escaped me once and I won’t let that happen again. You’re right. This moment is too volatile to risk it.

  “And you forget that I’m still your landlord, Jess. That gives me an advantage too. I can control where you live for the next six months, so don’t test me. Plus, I don’t need to remind you who can sleep at night with peace of mind. No matter what you could do to fuck me over, I’m the one who will be able to say I did all I could for this little situation we’ve gotten ourselves into. And you’ll still be having your flashbacks, nightmares, and all the problems you have right now, which haven’t seemed to have changed much in a year. So, we either get to the bottom of all this shit you carry on your shoulders every day so that you can try to be a functioning human being, or we end it here and now.” She looked Jess square in the eye with her eyebrows raised until he had to pull his stare away to watch the road.

  “So then, what’s your plan?” he mocked.

  She exhaled slowly and rubbed the bridge of her nose. “I don’t have one, yet,” she muttered.

  Jesse screeched the car to a stop on the side of the road and slammed it into park. His temples began to throb and he strained to keep his mouth from snarling. “So you just got in my car, left your pretty little fiancé and your party, not because you love me, but because you want to cure me? Do I have that correct, Charlie? Because let me tell you something, there’s no curing this!” he said forcefully, pointing to his head with extreme vigor. “There’s nothing here to fix. What makes you so sure you’re the one who’s going to be able to figure it all out? What makes you think that you—” He stopped wringing the steering wheel to scratch his forehead. “Over a decade’s worth of shrinks and meds and women haven’t been able to figure it out, Charlie. I just am who I am. Nothing will ever change where I came from or what I’ve been through.”

  A deep furrow pinched her brow and she softly said, “I’m not willing to give up. And if we don’t figure it out, then the past two years have been for nothing.” She licked her lips with a cautious hope.

  Avoiding a fight, they stared at the road ahead of them, trying to settle their nerves as Jesse continued the drive home.

  She’s exhausting. I’m not sure I have the patience for this. God! I wish it could just go back to the way it was a year ago. Without Sam. Without this Doctor Phil shit. Without sex. Well actually, I could do with some more of that.

  “You know, I’m not always a bad guy. I do have some redeemable qualities,” he spoke quietly while streaming his index finger across the inside of her thigh.

  “You have…many redeemable qualities,” she whispered, pulling her dress down to displace his hand. “That’s my whole point. Your problem isn’t that you’re an asshole…” She grew quieter and murmured, “That’s everyone else’s problem. Your problem is that no one has been able to show you the kind of person you can be. And it’s obvious that at the age of—what, twenty-eight?—you aren’t going to figure it out on your own.”

  He cracked his knuckles with his thumb and exhaled. “Why are you doing this? Tell me,” he said.

  Charlie sighed and threw her cigarette butt out the window. Turning back toward Jess, her smile wavered. “I’m doing this because I…because I’m a pathological optimist.”

  He eyed her in disbelief. “That’s the only reason?”

  Say it, Charlie.

  Her body softened and she turned toward the window, whispering something too softly for Jess to hear.

  What? “I’m sorry, what was that you said?” he asked, his head snapping in her direction.

  She said nothing and continued to stare at the white line on the road outside her window.

  Oh, shit.

  I think she just said she loved me.

  After parking the car, he flew out and slammed his door, causing Charlie to jump in her seat. Before she could reach for the handle, he had opened the door and was standing in front of her. At a loss for words, he stared down at her worried expression
while she sat, avoiding his eyes.

  The snow was sprinkling through the air around him, much lighter now than when the evening had begun. The stars were cloaked with a silvery blanket that sparkled as the moon skulked its way between the clouds.

  The car door squeaked as he tried to open it farther. Battling with his indecision, he knelt down on the asphalt and shimmied her legs on either side of his chest.

  Limp and unresponsive to his touch, Charlie closed her eyes. With her dress creeping up to her hips, Jesse slid her body toward him and cradled her cheeks in his hands. Her hair had fallen and her mascara was threatening to run down her face. Tilting her head toward his, Charlie briefly opened her eyes to meet his, only to close them once more.

  “Look at me,” he whispered.

  She shook her head.

  “Charlie, please.”

  She opened her eyes and glanced toward the moon, trying to prevent a tear from falling.

  “It’s been a big night,” she finally said.

  He nodded. “It has.”

  With hesitancy, his arms reached around her waist and he pressed his face against her chest. After a short delay, she rubbed her cheek against the top of his head.

  “We should go inside,” she whispered.

  Not yet.

  “Okay,” said Jess, pulling her closer, not quite willing to let go.

  “Come on, Jess. If anyone sees—”

  “I know, I know. Your residents.”

  He pried himself away and took her hand to help her to her feet. She glanced around briefly, making sure no one could see her, and straightened her dress as it fell back to her knees. Taking off his jacket to offer it to Charlie, Jesse was fixing the collar as a car drove into the lot. For a brief moment he could see the terror in her eyes as she removed his hand from his coat. When Charlie didn’t recognize the driver, she sagged back against the car.

  Running her hands over her face, she whispered, “What the fuck am I doing?”

  He let out a soft laugh and his eyes dropped to the ground. With a dry throat, he whispered, “Don’t worry, I make irrational decisions all the time.” His smile shifted. “Come on. Let’s go inside.” He gestured with his head toward the front door.

  *

  “Now what?” he said, as they approached Charlie’s apartment.

  “Now, I go to sleep. And you…you do whatever it is vampires do at night. Feed, I guess.” She let a giggle escape.

  “Oh, jokes all of a sudden?”

  She shrugged. “I guess I just thought the conversation was a little heavy.”

  Fumbling with his keys, Jesse spoke with little certainty. “May I come in?”

  Her head shook frantically for a brief moment. “Not tonight. I haven’t had the locks changed yet, and Sam still has a key. Not that I would have any intentions of…well, not that you would have any…I mean, it’s not like we’re gonna…” She shuffled her feet and sighed. “Good night, Jess. It’s Sunday tomorrow. I’ll come over to your place around ten in the morning. Sound good?”

  “You don’t want to come to my place tonight?” he asked quickly.

  “Do you need me to?”

  His eyes shifted around the hall in a rapid blink and he tugged on his earlobe. “Is this a trick question?”

  Her eyes moved from her door to him, and back again. “No, it’s okay. I’ll come over now. Just give me a few minutes and I’ll meet you there.”

  It was five minutes later that Charlie arrived at his door, knocking.

  Having anticipated her arrival, he swung open the door swiftly and smiled. “Why are you knocking? You have a key,” he said, cocking his head.

  She rolled her eyes. “I don’t have my work keys on me,” she said, entering. Charlie had changed her clothes and was in her pajamas and fluffy white slippers.

  “I texted Sam,” she said abruptly, and waited for his response.

  Whoa. The rumbling fear in his stomach tumbled its way through his body until it reached his face. His chin lifted slightly and his eye twitched. Steady now.

  “I’m only telling you this because I don’t want you to think that I’m hiding anything from you,” she added.

  “What did you tell him?” he asked, his tone unnerved.

  “I left him a message saying that I had some things I needed to take care of and that I would let him know when I was ready to talk.”

  “Some things you needed to take care of?” he quickly snapped.

  “Yeah.”

  Jesse began pacing around the room, slowly at first. His steps quickened as his thoughts about Charlie and Sam livened. He stopped abruptly and looked at her. She had backed up against the wall and her entire body was on alert and alarmed, her neck stiff and shoulders tensed.

  Trying not to scare her, he cleared his throat and counted to ten in his head. “Something you need to take care of?” He shook his head. “Never mind. Tell me what you’re thinking, because I’m not going to be your second choice here,” he said, knowing he hadn’t kept his voice calm.

  She took a step forward and placed her hand behind her neck, keeping her head down. “You’re just going to have to give me some time. Honestly, I don’t know what’s going on here. But I’m not going to give you some line of bullshit about you being the only person I think about. I love Sam. He has been my life for the past year. And I’m sorry…I’m sorry that the circumstances have been different for you. But this thing between us…what we were to each other, what we might be again for each other, is never going to go away if we don’t try to figure it out. At least, not for me. I had chalked you up to being a life lesson, nothing more than some strange regret in the pit of my stomach. You were a part of my past that I, sadly, had to let go of. That is, until you popped back in unexpectedly. And now I have the chance to make it right. Now I have been given an opportunity to be something more than another notch on your bedpost.” She paused to scratch her forehead and to take a breath. “And there’s this thing between us, something that drives me to you…and you to me. I don’t know what it is, but I know we can figure it out, or at least try to understand it.”

  He clenched his jaw and looked down toward the floor. His head snapped up as he approached her. “Why did you come here tonight?”

  Charlie backed up against the wall again as quickly as he gained ground toward her. She urgently thought of what she could say. “I…Because you asked me to.”

  “Liar. You’re such a bad liar, Charlie. You’re going to have to do better than that.” With his hands against the wall behind her shoulders, her posture straightened. Bringing his nose from her collarbone to her jaw, he smelled her faint perfume pulsing from her rapid heartbeat. Glancing down at her lips, he swept his thumb across them gently removing the sheen. She parted them slowly and her breathing went shallow.

  “I don’t like it when you wear makeup. I can’t see your skin,” he whispered, and completely smeared the gloss from her pink lips. He closed his eyes and waited for her to stop him but she didn’t say a word.

  His lips grazed hers and her breath caught. Within a fraction of a second, she dove underneath his arm and dodged his kiss. His head swooped in defeat, but the blow of her rejection quickly warped into impatience and irritation. Baring his teeth, Jesse used every ounce of restraint not to grab her arm and pull her back.

  She walked toward the door and they both turned at the same time to face each other. “I can’t, Jess, not tonight. I’m sorry. I need to seriously sort out my shit before I can even think about being with you like that.”

  “Are you fucking kidding me? What do I have to do?”

  “Exercise a little patience, maybe? It’s been like, all of seventeen minutes since I left my fiancé!” she shouted. Shaking her head, she paused to relax. “Just, give me some space for a little bit.”

  “Some space?” he asked. With his rage provoking his tone, his volume increased as he continued. “Right, some space. Last time I did that you ran off with the first guy that asked you out!”

&n
bsp; “Are you going to keep yelling at me, or can we talk about this like two rational adults?” she asked calmly. “You are capable of that right now, aren’t you? Being rational?” Her annoyance didn’t go unnoticed.

  “Fuck you, Charlie. I don’t even know why I asked you to come over. If you’re going to continue being a cocktease, you can do it with Samuel. Not me.”

  “Right. Okay.” With laughter, she continued, “I’m leaving now so you can calm down.” She nodded and turned toward the door again. “Oh, and Jess? I just want to put this out there so that we’re both clear about the subject. You see, after I left your sorry ass in your bed that night over a year ago, I became a different person.” She spoke swiftly, as she was sure that Jess would get a word in if he could. “I used to be the girl who put up with as much shit as you could dish out. I was weak, I was blind, and no one could show me just how pathetic I was. Until you. But I’ve changed. And as much shit as you want to dish out, I can send back, tenfold,” she snapped. “Just remember that as much as you try to push me away, abuse me, or sting me with your cruel remarks, that shit’s just gonna bounce right off me. So as you sit back and enjoy watching the shock of your words affect me, and pat yourself on your back for your astounding wit, take into consideration one tiny thing: you should be happy someone’s still listening.”

  Turning the knob to leave his apartment, she looked back and winked. “See you tomorrow morning, Sunshine.”

  She closed the door simultaneously with Jesse’s scream, “Bitch!”

  This is not the way I saw the rest of tonight going.

  Did I not hear her? She said she loved me. I know she did. But she also loves Sam. Fuckin’ Sam.

  I’ll just have to find a way to get him out of her head. I’ve gotta come up with a plan too.

  Patience. She’s right.

  Keep my mouth shut. She’s right again.

  But I’ve got her now. I don’t know for how long, but she’s mine. I just have to show her that I’m better for her. I can behave. No girls. And no fights. And no mouth.