Rewired (The Progress Series) Read online

  Charlie clicked the keyboard, typing in the details of his request. After hitting the Print button, she looked up. “Anything else, Mr. Anders?”

  His lips parted and he stared at Charlie’s mouth, trying to calm his unsteady breathing.

  “Yeah, I…” He paused and swallowed, his eyes panning the room. “Hey, Roxy,” he called behind him.

  “Yes?” Roxanne stood, giving Jesse her full attention.

  “Could you pour me a cup of that coffee you guys have in the lobby? I don’t think I’ll be able to make it through a full day’s work without it,” he said, laying that Jesse charm on thick. Roxanne seemed happy to oblige his request and stepped eagerly into the lobby to fetch him a cup.

  Once alone, he leaned across the desk and lowered his voice. “I need…” He paused, trying not to sound so eager. “I’d like to see you soon. Tonight, if that’s okay. I’m not too late, am I?”

  Rubbing her lips together and straightening her posture, she replied, “Too late?” She shook her head, dismissing her own question. “You know the deal.”

  “Yes, I know the deal.” He nodded slowly, a chill prickling through him.

  Her eyebrows lifted, asking a silent question.

  His voice cracked. “Promise me, then.” His eyes softened.

  “Promise you what?” she whispered, confused.

  Clearing his throat, he continued. “Promise me you’ll stay with me if I start taking them.” The corners of his mouth flickered down for a moment. “I mean…” He stalled. Unsure of what to do with his hands, he folded them together and leaned into her. “Say you’ll stay with me, forever.”

  Her eyes closed and her head eased to the side. She leaned in closer, their faces mere inches apart, and took a deep breath. Licking her lips to delay her inevitable words, a small divot appeared on her brow. “I’ll stay until you ask me to leave.”

  Holy shit.

  Dumbstruck and without words, Jess couldn’t believe he’d heard her correctly. He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t blink. He couldn’t see. His fingertips went numb until he brought his mind back to reality.

  This doesn’t make any sense. He shook his head. She must have a plan now. But so do I. Within a few weeks she’ll forget all about what’s-his-name, and she’ll be mine. She must’ve never really loved him if she’s willing to let go of him so easily. Which means she never got over me. I knew it. I knew she said she loved me.

  “What would you be too late for?” Charlie asked suddenly.

  “Here you go, Jesse! How are you enjoying your new apartment?” asked Roxanne, setting the cup of coffee on Charlie’s desk.

  “It’s great, Roxy. I think I’m really gonna like it here.” He winked and rose from his seat.

  I can’t believe it. I don’t think I could stop smiling right now even if I tried.

  “Thanks again, Charlie.” After grabbing the cup of coffee off the desk, Jesse gave Roxanne a strong one-armed hug and a bubbly, bursting kiss on her cheek, unable to control his excitement.

  “Oh, one more question, Ms. Johnson…” He turned back to face her. She snickered at his formal salutation.

  “Yes, Mr. Anders?” She chewed the inside of her cheek.

  “When is your birthday?” he asked, a flicker of amusement in his tone.

  She tried to conceal her smile by covering her mouth with her hand. “July second.”

  He nodded his way out the door, pondering what gift to give her.

  *

  My girl, my Charlie. I’ve got her. She’s mine now.

  He couldn’t stop himself from coming back to this thought twenty times an hour. As work at the golf course blurred by, he found himself punching out for the day before he could even recall what he had accomplished. It was his most productive day since he had started.

  On the way home, he stopped by the grocery store and picked out the brightest bouquet of white daisies he could find and a rotisserie chicken he planned to share with Charlie when she got there.

  As six o’clock was approaching, he scrambled to clean his apartment, set up the plates and silverware on the kitchen island, and took a shower before she arrived.

  Shit, do the knives go on the left or the right of the plate? Oh, fuck it! It’s not like she’s gonna notice anyway; I just want everything to be perfect.

  Listen to me! He shook his head and laughed, setting down the roll of paper towels. Over a girl. This is so perfectly irritating.

  A short time later, he heard a knock on his door. Emptying the air from his lungs, he paused before turning the knob.

  “Hey.” His shoulders softened when he saw Charlie’s face.

  “Hey.”

  “Come in.” He opened the door wider and allowed her to step inside. “I bought a chicken,” he said awkwardly.

  Oh my god, did I just say that?

  With her sarcasm in abundance, she replied, “Will this require butchering and de-feathering? Or did you purchase said chicken for ritualistic purposes?” She winked, retrieving something from her purse.

  “Ha ha ha,” he laughed, battling his amusement. “Hungry?”

  “Not really, but I’ll eat anyway.” She shrugged, checking the screen of her phone.

  He nodded. “Here, um… I don’t really have any chairs, but I set the table.”

  Trying not to reveal how pleased he was with himself, he motioned for her to stand next to him at the island.

  She walked over smiling, and a soft giggle escaped. “The flowers are beautiful. Thank you,” she said, leaning over to smell them. “But why don’t we sit on the floor. It might be easier to eat.”

  Her eyes drifted past his shoulders as she focused on the four orange pill containers sitting on the kitchen counter. Jesse looked over his shoulder to see what had caught her attention, and he nodded.

  “You’ll have to watch me for a bit.”

  “What?” she asked, regaining her focus on him.

  “Those.” He gestured over his shoulder. “They can get tricky for the first few weeks.”

  She gave him a firm nod. “Yeah, I’ve heard that,” she said softly.

  Jesse carried the black plastic container that held the rotisserie chicken to the carpet in the living room, along with utensils. He turned and held out a fork. “Here,” he said.

  Setting her phone down on the island, she smiled.

  “You know, I still need your number,” he said.

  “Right. Sorry. Here.” She dug out an old receipt from her purse and jotted it down. Approaching him on the floor, she held out her hand and offered it to him.

  “Good. I don’t want to see you staring at that phone again tonight. Leave work at work. Tonight, you’re mine,” he said, stuffing the receipt in his pocket.

  Her reaction was less than reassuring as a sudden crash of thunder shook the apartment building. She jumped and crushed her hand to her chest. “Jeez, that was loud,” she said, taking a deep breath.

  “Scaredy-cat.”

  As the rain beat down heavily, Charlie and Jess sat enjoying the picnic in the middle of the floor. After a few bites, Charlie piped up with a sudden thought. “Did you close your bedroom window?”

  Chewing on a mouthful of chicken, Jesse hopped up and ran into his room, wiping his greasy fingers on his jeans. The blinds were clattering against the window frame and water had begun puddling on the sill.

  “Dammit!” He slammed the window shut as Charlie grabbed a fresh towel from the bathroom. She set the towel down to soak up the water, stifling her laughter.

  The soft flashes of lightning in the distance caught her profile, her pale complexion and small smile glowing intermittently. She’s real. She’s here. She’s really here. I’ve wanted this moment, dreamed about this moment for over a year. And I’ve finally broken her down. She’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever—

  “Ooh, Mark’s gonna kill you—” She stopped as Jesse pulled her hair behind her ear, interrupting her.

  He laughed briefly and lingered in his gaze. “Who’s
Mark?” he whispered.

  She swallowed and whispered back. “The maintenance guy that fixed your drywall this afternoon.”

  So delicate. Almost angelic.

  Wearing a tender smile, Jesse leaned in and inhaled deeply through his nose as he closed his eyes. As he opened them, Charlie’s lips were softly resting on his. And just as quickly as she came to kiss him, she pulled away shyly. It was the smallest, most innocent kiss he’d ever received; one without lust or confidence. It was almost as though a child had done it.

  His head tilted to the side. “What was that for?”

  His question hovered idly in the air for a few seconds before another crash of thunder came roaring through. She flinched and looked in the direction of the hallway. “Was that my phone?”

  He smirked and let out a sharp laugh. “Enough with the phone already. Who are you expecting a call from, anyway?”

  For the smallest second, Jess could not only see her guilt, but he felt it. It jounced between them long enough for him to catch. The corner of her mouth turned down slightly and the frown that Charlie was so obviously trying to disguise was now replaced with a nervous smile.

  His ears started ringing and he felt a slashing wave of sorrow pierce his heart. Bringing his fingertips up to his scalp, he scraped his nails against his skin, feeling the frustration pique.

  Shit. His jaw shuddered.

  Fuckin’ Sam.

  Running to the kitchen, Jesse found her phone resting on the island. He picked it up and began scrolling through her last few messages before she caught up to him.

  “Put it down, Jess. You have no right…” She went to grab it from his hands, but at the last second he jerked his arm off to the side with a threatening glare.

  “I have no right to what? Make sure you’re not still talking to him?”

  Her spine perked up and she crossed her arms over her chest. “Give it to me. I’m not talking to him.”

  “But you’re hopeful,” he said, continuing to hold the phone out of her reach. “I can fucking see it in your eyes.”

  “Oh fuck it. I don’t even know why you’re still here with me anyway,” she said, eyeing her phone in his hand. “You really need to stop acting like an overbearing gorilla and start talking to me, or this is never going to happen.”

  The thunder continued to crash as the storm quickly approached the city. A sneer soured Jesse’s upper lip as Charlie waited for the thunder to subside.

  She shook her head. “I don’t know why we thought this would work—you and me. It never has before,” she said solemnly. “And trust? We can obviously throw that the fuck out the window! How am I supposed to get close to you when all you do is shout at me? You really need to get a better grip on your temper; otherwise this is all going to fall apart,” she continued, as though this speech were planned. “And yes, I will go running back to Sam if you don’t start treating me with some respect.”

  The name sliced through Jesse’s ears as he pursed his lips together and the tendons in his neck bulged. Wait a minute. Stop. She’s testing you. Calm yourself down. She’s trying to get a rise out of you. Show her you have control over it.

  He took a deep breath before he spoke. “You’re going to throw that in my face every time? That you have the perfect little man waiting for you, and all I need to do is screw up once and I lose you?”

  Her face flushed in agitation, as though her plan had failed. “What about when I gain the weight back? What are you going to do with me then?” she asked suddenly.

  His mouth slung open and his emotions flung forward, leaving him unable to censor himself. “What? Now you’re just looking for reasons to leave!” he said in disbelief. Where did that come from?

  “At least I wouldn’t have to worry about Sam leaving me for the next skinny piece of ass that comes along.” Her eyes narrowed, waiting for Jesse’s response.

  “What the fuck are you doing, Charlie? Are you trying to piss me off? Mission accomplished. I mean, what are you trying to get me to say?” he yelled.

  “Are you still pissed off?”

  “Yes!” he bellowed from his chest.

  “Wanna hit me?”

  “Yes!”

  Her eyes widened. “Do it. Hit me.”

  With his nostrils flaring and his blood boiling, he attempted to collect himself. He tried to think of anything that would cease the rage.

  “You should. Just start beating me, you crazy fuck,” she snapped.

  His jaw tensed as his crazed eyes narrowed. “You want me to admit that you’re the only one for me? Because I don’t have the luxury of choice here! You are all that I have!”

  Satisfied with his admission, Charlie nodded. She stared through him with a smug grin. “So now that you have me, how are you going to keep me?”

  Shaking his head and setting his jaw, he looked at everything in the room except Charlie. “Fuck this,” he said flatly, and dropped her phone on the floor. “I’m going out for a drink. Don’t be here when I get back.” And with that, he slammed the door.

  *

  Charlie definitely stirred something in Jesse that evening. He felt the adrenaline coursing its way through every nerve ending, every appendage, and every hair follicle. His stomach twisted and his mind emptied. A sensation took over his body, sucking all the thoughts from his mind, causing him to focus only on his desire for sex, anger, drugs, and anything that could require violence—the kind of fight that would leave his victim in agony.

  On his drive, phrases would pop into his head and quickly vanish as the erratic high his body was experiencing ripped them into the back of his mind where they couldn’t be retrieved.

  I’ll find someone to fuck tonight.

  That thought, now gone.

  I’m going to fucking kill Sam…

  His fists gripped the steering wheel and that thought slipped.

  I’ll find the biggest fucker I can and wrap my hands around his neck…

  He lit a cigarette in the car while his knee bounced.

  I bought a fucking chicken.

  He turned a corner to see a neon Miller Lite board and a flashing red Open sign. Conveniently, a parking space in front was just opening up.

  I’ll find someone in here and thrash his head against the concrete floor… How could I have been so stupid to think she’d be over him?

  Hopping out of the car, he bounced his way into the bar. He slapped open the door as loud music pierced the sidewalk outside. His jaw constricted as he surveyed the room. Thoughts were still floating in and out, and the adrenaline was now showing immense physical side effects, causing his limbs to shake.

  He loved every second. The elation of hypo-mania was a nice place to visit. He welcomed it, as he hadn’t seen this old friend for many months. It’s the kind of high that people pay good money for, and he wasn’t about to let it go to waste.

  All of his senses were on high alert: colors were more vivid; a slight breeze felt like a wind storm; his nose filled with the scent of whiskey, beer, perfume, cologne, greasy food, and remnants of stale cigarette smoke from when the bar once allowed it; and the old piece of gum he had been chewing now stung his tongue with peppermint, as if he had just popped the piece into his mouth.

  What was a dark room suddenly illuminated with the dilation of his pupils. A few quick blinks were all it took for his eyes to adjust and see everything: the bartender, the six patrons, and one waitress. Standing near the entrance, he identified a slight change of pattern in the wooden floor boards across the room, three bottles on the shelf behind the bar on which the labels weren’t facing outward, the waitress stuffing a five-dollar bill in her apron, two flies mating on the cheap plastic of a dim overhead light, and a drug deal taking place at the small table in the back.

  From the unlaced shoe of the drug dealer to the cleft chin of the waitress and the fan in the corner blowing streamers into the warm room, he saw it all at once.

  His senses flooded like the rumblings of a nonstop freight train—sight, smell,
taste, touch, sound.

  Smiling with his head back, he closed his eyes—delighting in the euphoric symphony his mind was conducting for his body—and stretched his trembling arms out to his sides.

  It would take less than a minute for it all to erupt. His hypo-mania was now becoming an extreme manic episode.

  Like watching a scene in fast forward, his emotions switched from pure joy to devastation within seconds. From unity to disparity, from gain to loss, from freedom to suffocation. Small movements suddenly became threats, laughter became his ridicule, and the first person to look at him would become his target. It was all he could do to breathe it in and let the rush run its course.

  Blocking the exit for one very unfortunate customer, Jesse stood brooding over him and waited. Waited for a word. A look. Anything.

  And he got it.

  “Excuse me, sir.” A man almost half the size of Jesse tried to step around him.

  That was all it took. It was nothing in the man’s tone or demeanor. It wasn’t because he acted strange or said something wrong; he was just the unlucky bastard who got caught in the wrong place at the wrong time.

  In what now felt like slow-motion, Jesse turned his head to survey any witnesses before pulling his arm back, winding up for his attack. His head snapped back toward the stranger, whose jaw ricocheted from Jesse’s fist. Hearing the crack of the patron’s jaw and watching the saliva spray from the man’s mouth, Jesse felt his arms bulge at his sides as his posture straightened. Letting out a relaxed sigh, he smiled as the man fell instantly to the floor.

  No one had heard any commotion over the music, and the scene hadn’t drawn any attention yet, so Jesse’s knee stretched back, supplying his foot with the momentum it needed to snap forward, punting the unconscious man on the ground twice. Jess snatched the man up by his shirt and brought his dangling head closer. It wasn’t until Jess felt a stinging sensation on his lip that he realized someone had finally intervened.

  It wasn’t a bouncer, the bartender, or the tiny waitress. It was another customer, coming to the innocent man’s rescue. “What the fuck are you doing?” the customer yelled, crouching down beside the wasted man on the floor. Looking back up toward the bartender, he shouted, “Joe! Call the police!”